It has been a little over a week since my last post and I figured it is about time I throw another one out there to keep everyone entertained. Due to the length in between posts and the fact I have nothing to do now that school is over, this post is going to have some girth to it. I have a feeling that everyone has been on their toes in anticipation of this post. Not because the content of my blog is good or anything, but more so due to a tweet sent out earlier by me saying how awesome this post is going to be. My last post received 13 pageviews (1 of which was me so essentially 12) which is far more publicity than originally expected. Even though this blog is big time now I will continue to keep my ego in check because with great power comes great responsibility. I will forever remember those who have blogged before me and give me inspiration to continue. The great Mark the Shark and of course from our very own at NDubs, Lance Wetberg.
Most people see this time of year as extremely fun and enjoyable, a time of relaxation. Summer is finally here. Well technically we have to wait another 5 weeks, but according to students (or their parents) it is summer. Yet for NWC girls this time of year, especially this past week, can be a rough patch for them. Saying goodbye to friends for 3 months is one of the hardest things to do without crying. Ok so that was a lie and maybe I am just heartless, but I just do not get it. For the most part these relationships that provoke crying are the ones between a couple of people who will stay in regular contact over the summer anyway.
Alright I apologize for the glimpse of touchy feely stuff and will go onto the main point. It has been another epic year at the 3003 and it is time to look back on some of the highlights of the year. I do not have time to hit everything so if something gets left out it must not have been that good of a highlight because I already forgot about it. These highlights are in no particular order and I am leaving it up to a power greater than myself (my viewers) to verbally or non verbally rank them if they wish.
1. "You were a sophomore last year" ~ Coach Talley
Within five minutes of the 2011 football season, Matt "Dammo" Dammann was already being scolded by the head coach. The typical clowns (Goose, Cyle, Tom, Dammo, Delain, Balzer, Entler, me, and others) are seated in the back row in between conversation and paying attention to all the ridiculous rules we must adhere to as NCAA DIII athletes. If I recall the situation correctly, Goose lifted up a cheek and let out a squeaker. Being as immature as we are, guys are chuckling under their breath to avoid a scene in the back of the room. Without hesitation Dammo says "PULL" while lifting his arms in the air resembling a gun at the same time. By now the back of the room is not doing a very good job of keeping the laughter under control. Heads are turning in the front rows. Coach Talley seeing the entire episode in real time, yells back at his understudy "you were a sophomore last year." To this day this quote is used whenever anything immature is done.
2. "Hiatus"
Thanks to me at least 3 other people's vocabulary added a new word. Dictionary.com defines hiatus as a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc. This is exactly how we defined Repp's relationship status. He was on a hiatus. Both he and Mollie knew they wanted to date, but for some reason there was an interruption in the work. The hiatus finally ended in early December, but for the previous 3 months it was a great joke. Also, it was funny to see Repp delaying them becoming official for as long as he could. Classic Repp, always late and never in a hurry.
3. 3rd floor Moyer girls
The great part about pranking girls, especially homeschoolers, is that guys always come up with something far more disgusting than any girl can think of. As I remember it, some girls decided to go through our back door to get into the building. Balzer chased them up the stairwell, and when he got back he looked out onto our porch and there were corn cobs and husks laying in our area. Balzer informed GT of the shenanigans taking place. GT then took the corn cobs and husks and chucked them up onto the 3rd floor porch belonging to these girls. Knowing an epic battle was about to occur, Balzer called in the cavalry and Repp and I were coming in hot. The girls threw the trash back down and it was war. Of course in MoTown, we had trash reserves for weeks in our kitchen. We began throwing random trash up onto their deck. They kept throwing it back so we needed to figure out a way to not allow them to throw it back. We filled up a garbage bag with 10 year old whey protein, bad milk, pasta sauce, ranch, and other spoiled food. Upon throwing the bag up on the deck it exploded all over their door and into the room on the walls. It smelled so bad that one girl threw up at least twice. Next thing we know they are attempting to barge into our room and four guys are having some trouble holding them back if you know what I mean (granted I was only a month or so out from ACL surgery). We tried spraying febreeze to hold them back but one girl got it in her eye (potential chemical burn there that GT would know all about). We decided to help her out with some toilet paper to clean out her eye. The girls now wanted to form a truce and have us help them clean up, but there was no way we were going up there. Somehow we convinced them to buy us donuts and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew for us. We took the deal and did not clean up a single thing. Double win for MoTown.
4. Cole Mortels Potty Mouth
Basketball season is something to look forward to every year. Watching the "Wet Quartet" go to work each game makes for a good time. However, for the "heckling section" (Dammo, Cyle, Hap, Rio, Entler, Chris Wallace, and I) we care far more about getting in the opponents' heads than cheering for our own squad. The Eagles were squaring off with the Saints from St. Scholastica and we were hot. The game was starting to get carried away, and we were on our game in the heckling section. Cole Mortels, a Saints freshman, had shot multiple air balls during the game and we were letting him know about it. Every time he touched the ball, "air ball" chants were heading his way. Late in the game he put up a trey ball after we had been yelling "air ball" at him, he proceeded to hit the shot, turn around, and point his finger at our section saying "F*** You." Later we played St. Scholastica in the conference tourney and every time he touched the ball we changed our chant from "air ball" to "potty mouth."
5. The four pranksters
It is a Friday night and MoTown is just trying to hang out with the same girls we have been chilling with for months (Mollie, BK, Erin, Jana). However, they had been planning this bonfire at another guys house who they hardly even knew. For some reason we thought this was unacceptable and we were not happy. Balzer was not in for the night due to some homework like normal. Me, Repp, and GT called over Kendall "Yaminashi" Sommerlot. We had determined to prank their car by putting it up on cinder blocks, saran wrap it, and maybe string some empty pop cans to drag across the ground under the car. We sat in the old folks home and waited to follow them to the destination. Everything was going as planned, but then we lost them on the interstate. Luckily GT already had a potential address we thought they may be headed to. We arrived just shortly after them and headed to Wal-Mart to get supplies. We got back to the bonfire and went to work. We placed cinder blocks just inside the 2 front tires leaving the car elevated about an inch off the ground. We started saran wrapping and used at least 4 rolls on the car. We went back to get the empty pop cans, but when Kendall and Repp were getting close to the car, people from the bonfire were in the front yard. They ran to our predestined meet up spot and we soon picked them up. We were far to impressed with ourselves to leave like that, so we made a couple rounds driving past the car on side streets. On the final round, we gave a good long honk to let them know they had been had. We drove back to MoTown gawking at our work for the night.
6. "Oh Deer"
One Sunday in early November MFrat was driving back from church and saw a dead deer in the median. We did not think anything of it and continued on with the day. Later in the afternoon we were getting restless and were feeling the need to pull some shenanigans. Someone (I wish I could remember who) jokingly said we should pick up that dead deer and do something with it. We laughed at the idea, but within a few minutes that dumb idea started to become a reality. GT went to the spring shop to pick up the truck we needed while we informed Kendall and Kabakas we needed help to pull some fun. We picked up the dead deer in the median and placed it into the truck (Its broken front leg was the least of our problems because you could smell that foul stench from miles away). Kendall was driving, along with GT in the truck, and we pulled up to Ashley Neelans house and dragged the dead deer across her front lawn placing it right outside her front door. Now we sat and waited for an epic reaction. It never came. We were getting restless. We reentered our vehicles and continued to sit and wait. We knew the girls had looked out the front door, but for some reason they did not open the front door. So we thought maybe if we drove away to look like we were leaving the scene of the crime they would come out to assess the damage. We lied in the bushes waiting. Next thing we know, a spot light is looking down the street. Repp and I recognize the fuzz and we scram like a bunch of illegals when the INS shows up. We hop a couple fences (this is before I had ACL surgery) and ran down to a cul-de-sac about a half mile from her house. Meanwhile Kendall, Coco, Balzer, and GT were hiding in the bushes avoiding the cops. Finally, the cops gave up and walked down the street saying they had already tagged the vehicles and knew who we were. Those four came out of the bushes and after realizing it was just a prank the cops laughed and asked Ashley if she wanted to press charges. She said no, but we had to clean up the mess. This was by far our worst prank because we actually had to clean up the mess. That was awful, but well worth it.
This year was just another year great year at the NDubs and I felt I needed to reminisce on some of the fun we had over the course of the year. I want to thank everyone who has helped make this year a success with their contributions to the Highlight Reel.
Keep Rolling Yahtzees
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