Relationships 102: How to Read Men Like a Book

For some reason, whenever I blog about myself it struggles to get the astronomical views I receive when writing canonical pieces such as NWC Media Day and Relationships 101. I should not be surprised that NWC loves hearing about relationships. With these overwhelming stats I decided at the last second to not write a blog on my drive back to Iowa. Ok thanks for calling my bluff on that one. I have been hounded by people on the outside to write another blog. As a late Christmas gift to all of my followers I give to you another post. This is about the time of year most people finally get their Christmas letters out and you can put this post in a similar category based on its timeliness. For those of you who were wishing for post season football awards or intramural basketball media day, Santa did not come with those. Santa did come with Relationships 102 which is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Merry Christmas.

Sometime back I promised a few things. The first was that I would give another personal shout out to Josh Swore for finally passing an online course I teach. Swore has mentioned several times to me that I need to write an entire post about him, and I still feel this is unnecessary. The second item I promised was to write what I had coined "Relationships 102: How to Read Men Like a Book" so here goes nothing.

Some things to remember before I start. All men are the same at some level. We are simple and logical creatures who often do not find ourselves in tune with the emotional realm. Trust me ladies, you want this from men. Imagine an emotional man at the same time you ladies are overly emotional. YIKES (Natures natural balance where guys get the short end of the stick if they have reached relationships 201). Therefore, since we are logical, I give to you several tests that can be used to read men and their "feelings." Truly you are reading their thoughts because what they think and do will tell you exactly what he is feeling. The more tests you find coinciding with his behavior the more sure you can be about how he feels. Really what these tests are designed to do is help answer the question 'Does this guy like me?' Women the last thing to remember is to not read too much into anything. Stick to the question ‘Does this guy like me?’ and try not to keep asking yourself ‘What did that mean?’ Once again let me remind you that men are simple. Pay attention to what he does more than what he says, at least in the initial phases. All these tests are simple (just like men) and can be done by any girl.

Social Media Test

This test is fairly simple and one of the earliest of the tests. Everyone has Facebook and a majority have Twitter as well.  How much does this guy pop up on your news feed? Have you noticed him liking pictures that he would have had to search through your profile a bit to find? Is he commenting on some of those same type of photos? Does he comment or like every status update you have? Does he favorite, retweet, or reply to several of your tweets?  For me, this test usually confirms what I already know. If I were a lady I would use this test as a starting point to give me hints. Obviously there are some people who live on social media sites and some people who barely use them. For this very reason, the social media test is a starting point. Continued social media interaction in anyway should simply be taken note of.

Bump Into Test

This test is hard to identify if you do not know what you are looking for. It can even be tricky if you understand what is going on. I am not 100% positive, but I am fairly sure women do this very thing to a certain extent as well. The difficult thing to not do with this test is to read too much into the scenario, and trust me, that is what women do about everything men related. Men have an innate ability to "bump into" women we have a particular liking. This does not mean that he literally bumps into you on the sidewalk. Guys I do not recommend trying that. It simply means that this guy seems to run into you in casual, normal settings. Let me try and give an example to make this test a bit more clear. Both the guy and girl frequent the library for personal studies. The two of you have been acquaintances for some time, but recently you think he may have some interest. You both have your own separate table at the library, but you notice that when he gets up to use the restroom he goes a little out of his way to walk by your table and say hi. This is pretty classic.

Looking Test

This test is similar to the Bump Into test in that it can be hard to identify if you are not paying attention. Also, similar to the Bump Into test, the Looking test is done by women as well. Both men and women are very sneaky with this test because there is a fear of getting caught staring. Do you ever catch this guy looking across the room at you when you are not talking or making an abnormal movement. I decided to add the abnormal movement part because the eye is naturally tuned to look toward any type of movement. Just try and not look up when someone enters a room. Every man has ADD to some extent so expect him to be distracted by abnormal movement. I do not remember where I heard or saw this trick, but if I were a female I would yawn and then look around to see who else is yawning. I already stated that the social media test is the very beginning of the tests but the Looking Test has potential to precede the Social Media Test.

Name Test

This is the hardest test to determine the true results. Many studies have been done and they all say that when a guy/girl likes a girl/guy they are more apt to use their name instead of common pronouns. This is the hardest test because your name can be used by anyone. However, the frequency by which it is used will answer this test question for you. In a normal conversation, two or three times is a lot. In text messages, check for something like this… “How u doin? compared to “How u doin today (insert your name)? Which one sounds better ladies? Pick number 2 my lord (Shrek quote).

A small side note to look for in the name test is to check for a nickname. Sometimes he will use the nickname right in front of you and that is a dead giveaway. Especially early, do not count on this one. More than likely he has some sort of nickname or even a code name for you. It is possible that he could be talking about you while you are in the same room and you would not even know it. Men are weird like that. I would love to insert some examples here, but I cannot giveaway some of the nickname secrets. Do not worry too much about this one women and simply let it slide. If things progress towards relationships 201 you will usually learn the nicknames he has for you.

Laugh Test

This is probably my favorite test. Men and women both do this test as well. I hate to break it to you women but in general men are funnier. For the most part a quality women are looking for in a man is to have a good sense of humor. Men have a similar want for a sense of humor in women. However, men know that women are naturally not going to be as funny as their dude friends. So what is there to test? Watch how much he laughs at what you say including text messages. He wants you to be funny so if he laughs even at things which are not very funny, he is somehow making himself think that you are funnier than you actually are. The funnier you are the less he will find himself laughing at pointless things because his need for you to be funny has been satisfied. Have a good sense of humor ladies, and if you do not, be sure that he will be laughing at things that are not that funny.

Physical Test

Watch a bunch of guys for just a few minutes to realize they are physically beings. Even the completely straight guys seem to always be touching each other in some fashion. Thus the butt slap in sports, created by completely straight men that could be viewed as homosexual in any other setting. Oxymoronic. Be thankful ladies if you are going after a solid guy he will not be butt slapping you anytime soon. That being said, his physical nature is still in full rage. Watch for simple acts of physical nature. Fist pounds, high fives, handshakes, a pat on the back, a nudge, all are good examples of early physical tests. Men want to touch.

Out of the Way Test

This is one of the more comical tests especially when you know a guy likes a girl and you see him doing this. Everyone is selfish to some extent and I think men in general are more selfish creatures than women. The Out of the Way Test is an act of pure unselfishness. If a man goes out of his way for a girl it is a good sign that he has some interest. Something as simple as watching a movie he would rather not watch could be seen as him going out of the way for you. Anytime he does something he absolutely does not want to do but does not complain about it, he passes this test. Every man in relationships 201+ has done this and it is not a sign of being whipped.

Emoticon Test

If you are a girl and need this test to confirm the overlying question, the dude needs to work on his cues or you are off in your own little world. Men have no uses for emoticons in texts except for bromance texts or to flirt. More than 1 emoticon ought to give it away. :) and ;) are good. Run if you see <3.

Well ladies there you have it. It really is this simple. Remember, do not read into anything too much and never over think anything. Chances are he does not even remember what he said or did to make you over think something. Use facts and logic only and you are well on your well to understanding his thoughts which truly lead to his feelings. 

Feel free to comment below on anything you disagree with or would like better clarification. I know Relationships 101 had some strong disagreements about certain points from the XX population and many of these may be left unanswered. 

It has been a fun ride with Yahtzee’s Roll, but I am officially announcing my retirement from Yahtzee's Roll on Life effective the 31^st of March 2013. NWC Media Day received 88 views at the time of this post and I would love to see this post break 100 as my finale. I want to thank all my followers who have made this possible. Lastly, I want to thank myself for being awesome.

Keep Rollin Yahtzee's